FOREWORD This is a light-hearted look at the dilemnas of criminality, from the perspective of a would-be career criminal. The intention of writing such a lore, apart from entertainment, is to give the Aisling official some insight into common criminal thought processes. Knowing the way criminals can think is useful in many different circumstances that the average official may find themselves in.     contents 1. THE CAPER THINK AHEAD/THE GETAWAY 2. FILTH THE FILTH/MEET THE FILTH 3. DO THE CRIME, NOT THE TIME NICKED/BENT THE CAPER THINK AHEAD/THE GETAWAY So yer fed up tryin' to get yer business done inside the law? Maybe yer considerin' throwin' caution to the wind, doin' what ye want and to all hell with what 'ere may come. Well, stop for a moment and use yer head, otherwise ye'll just end up like the rest of the fodder the Filth nick, a buncha clueless sods who never thought ahead and jus' ended up turfed outta the township on their arse. Yer playin' a serious game now when ye decide to run against the law. Ye muck it up, ye'll end up in a world of trouble, so make sure ye do it right first time. That means thinkin' ahead. Plan it all out in yer head. What ye do, where ye do it, when ye do it and how ye will get away before the Filth find ye. And strange as it sounds, take time to read the laws of any place ye could get trouble from. Done right, ye can sometimes completely dodge all laws the Filth might try to press on ye if there's enough loopholes in 'em for ye to slip through. Take notice of the Filth operatin' in yer area. Some are smarter than others, so ye want to act when the smart ones are off nappin' somewhere and only a few rookies or the like are patrollin' around. Whatever yer doin', look to do the business outside juridstiction of either Mileth or Rucesion. Makes it that much harder for 'em to figure out who's punishin' the crime. THINK AHEAD/THE GETAWAY Once ye've pulled it off, ye need to get outta there before the Filth arrive, which dependin' on where ye are and who's comin', can be very quickly or not for a Deoch. Regardless, tis in yer best interests to move quick and not hang 'round. One good way is to lay low for a while and let one of yer siblin's or associates scope out the scene for ye and figure out when it's safe to come outta hidin'. Ye might have to lay low for a long time if the Filth are persistant in nailin' ye, but more often than not, yer capers can blow over after a few seasons, or even moons since there ain't much dedicated Filth about. FILTH THE FILTH/MEET THE FILTH The biggest obstacle in yer path to the perfect caper is the Filth. They're Aislin's elected into positions o' power that make up and enforce certain laws in their turf. Sadly enough, for ye, almost anything ye do that takes advantage of some other sod is bound to tread badly over one of more of 'em laws. And o' course, they nay like ye doin' that. Both Mileth and Rucesion have a cartload wanderin' around the place and once they get wind of whatever ye've pulled off - or if yer thick as pigslop and they're right there when ye do it - they'll come after ye. Avoidin' 'em completely is what ye'd like to always be happenin', but sooner or later, yer gonna run into 'em in the course of yer business. THE FILTH/MEET THE FILTH There's different types of Filth makin' up the cartload and ye will likely see some more than others. They all have a uniform, but a lot of 'em walk around undercover until they take action. But just so ye know what to look for, here's the deal on all the kinds that can get in yer way: - Guard: These'll probably be the most common of yer encounters with the Filth. They wear tabards or bliauts over kasmanium chainmail and frequently roam the territories of the village they belong to. Sods that ye top or rip off will normally contact 'em first and they will start chasin' ye as soon as they have cause to believe ye've got dirty fingers. They ain't always too smart though, 'specially the rookie first-terms, so ye can sometimes intimidate or filibust 'em into leavin' ye alone if they catch up with ye. Easy to find, especially in Mileth. - Guard Captain: Sometimes if yer unlucky, ye won't have a Guard on yer tail but a Guard Captain. They look exactly like Guards 'cept they wear helms as well. Ye normally don't find 'em patrollin' 'cause their job is to keep Guards in line, but they can and will respond to capers ye pull off if they have to. They've been 'round long enough that ye can't usually talk yer way free of 'em if one latches on to yeh. Most of 'em know the law well, so better just to avoid bein' nabbed by 'em in the first place. - Judge: If yer committin' a big-time caper by the laws of the territory, ye just might have the misfortune of runnin' into a Judge. They look a lot different to Guards or Guard Captains and look more like noble tossers than filth, wearing elaborate robes and jackets. Don't let yerself be fooled though, if any filth are sharp, these are the sharpest and probably sleep with the lawbooks beside 'em. Get caught by one and ye will most likely be nicked if ye've so much as spat on the grass. Ye won't see 'em often, but if ye do, don't hang 'round to see what they look like, just get outta there. - Demagouge: These Filth are the most common kind ye will run into after Guards. They wear cloaks, long or short dependin' on their gender and ye most often find 'em in gaggles near the filth pens. They usually don't do anythin' if they get wind of a caper but don't be careless around 'em. Some have a tendancy to use whispers and rat on ye to Guards or other punishin' Filth as well as memorize yer actions and hold it as evidence of yer caper if ye end up bein' nicked. Also, if yer exile is ordered as a result of ye being caught, this lot can turn aggressive and start huntin' ye down to kick ye out of the territory. - Burgess: Probably the rarest kind of Filth ye can expect to encounter, these are like power Demagouges but still pretty laid-back compared to punishin' Filth. They wear robes a lot like a Judge, elaborate, garish rubbish that makes 'em stand out from a country mile away. They can be a little more aggressive than Demagouges in respondin' to yer capers but they don't got any official punishin' power unless yer caught out and have yer exile or political barrment ordered. Then they get nasty and start lookin' for ye to put the boot in on. - Ranger: Of all the Filth ye can possibly encounter, these are the worst by far. They look exactly like Guards, 'cept their tabard or bliaut is yellow instead of green or blue. If ye pull something off that breaks the Mundane Mandate and they get wind of it, ye are as good as nicked, even if ye lie low. Dodgin' 'em by lyin' low when you realize they're after ye don't work either, since they keep and pass 'round a list of people hidin' out on 'em. Since ye can't stay underground forever, it's only a matter of time before ye show up and they catch ye. Worst part is, if they nick ye for nine capers or more, yer exploits are finished 'cause ye will be banished from the realm forever. If yer smart, ye'll just stay well away from anythin' that could draw their attention. DO THE CRIME, NOT THE TIME NICKED/BENT So ye were thick or inept enough to be caught eh? Well ye can expect a variety of punishments dependin' on who caught ye and what ye were doin'. Naturally, the worse the caper, the worse the book is that gets chucked at ye by the filth: - Warning: If ye weren't doing anything real terrible and just felt like jumpin' on some sod's rose garden or somethin', ye can get a warnin'. Warnin's aren't really anything more than a scoldin' by the filth, but they record 'em and if ye mess up the rose garden again, ye can easily get worse than this slap on yer wrist. - Banishment: The most common punishment ye will receive is gettin' banished from the city yer crime is taken by. If ye are banished, ye can't re-enter the territory yer banished from until it's forgiven. Fortunately, banishments don't normally last more a short while but like warnin's, they're recorded in the case ye cause any more trouble when ye come back. - Exile: If ye've done a fairly nasty caper, or repeatedly got caught for lesser stuff, ye can be exiled from a city. While in exile, yer marked as bein' exiled in addition to not being able to enter the territory yer exiled from until yer pardoned from it. Exiles normally last a lot longer than banishments, and are harder to be pardoned from, 'specially if a Burgess is the one who nails ye. Avoid bein' caught for anythin' that could get ye exiled - tis a big pain in the arse to live with. - Political Barrment: If yer bent and have done a whole lotta crooked deals during yer terms in office, ye'll possibly get a political barrment ordered on ye. Political barrments prevent ye from bein' part of the Filth until the barrment gets lifted. Chances are if ye ever have this slapped on ye, yer chances of gainin' office in that territory again ain't very good, just like yer reputation - unless ye have friends in the system. - Sgath Scar and Shadow Hunger: Doing the worst of the worst capers and bein' nicked can - if yer unlucky - get ye Sgathed. Sgaths inflict a permement scar on ye that is a lot like a Sgrios Scar in that it stuffs up the growth of yer health and mana as ye gain insight. Bad news is that ye can't get rid of a Sgath Scar - yer stuck with it for the rest of yer life. The Shadow Hunger is the second part to bein' Sgathed - after ye receive the Scar, ye will be dumped into the Sgath Pit and left to the mercy of the Shadow Hungers, which are nasty critters that are pretty much invunerable to anything ye manage to throw at them. Not that ye will have much to throw as most of yer abilities will be sealed while in the Pit and ye will be constantly gassed with ailments as long as ye remain there. Ye have about a zip chance of beatin' off the Shadow Hungers but even if ye could, there's no way out of the Pit ... until ye are killed. Arrested: Arrests are one of the two punishments a Ranger will hit ye with if ye break the Mandate and get snapped. They normally use arrests only if the crime they bust ye for is sleep-huntin' - for other stuff, they use a jailin' most of the time. Gettin' arrested marks yer legend permenantly with the arrest record and dumps ye in a jail cell in Loures Castle until ye wake up. Arrests count towards the nine-mark limit that gets ye banished permenantly from the realm. Jailed: Jailin's are the other form of punishment Rangers use on sods they catch violatin' the Mandate. They use this for any other caper they can punish for besides sleep-huntin', most often for people seal-breakin' to use profanity. If yer jailed, ye end up in the same jail cell in Loures Castle with a permenant mark of yer jailin' stamped for all to see on yer legend. However, bein' jailed locks ye inside the jail cell for a whole day and if yer daft enough to have broken the Mandate a bunch of times, ye can get jailin's stacked on ye, rampin' up the time ye stay nicked. Like arrests, jailin's count towards yer nine-mark limit that gets ye banished permenantly from the realm. NICKED/BENT Believe it or not, the filth can be yer best friend as well as yer worst enemy in slippin' outta a punishment. In fact, some of 'em are worse crims than ye yerself, though ye ain't likely to see it displayed openly. A bent official takes a lotta care in hidin' the fact of what they are. The only way yer likely to even find out about 'em is by word on the street. Even then, they ain't likely to cut any deals with ye unless ye make it worth their while, but if ye manage it can pay off should ye ever be nicked by the straight ones. Be sure ye offer good the first time though, else they may just add bribery to yer rap list instead: - Gold: Easily the most effective and reliable bribe ye can make with bent Filth is to cross their palms with a few coins. Ye generally want to offer into the millions to get their interest, anythin' less than that'll probably be turned down and get ye an additional slappin' for bribery. - Rare Items: If ye happen to be willin' to part with some of yer hard-to-find trinkets, ye just might slip the hook offerin' one to a bent official. Try to peek 'em if ye can, jus' so ye can tell whether or not they've already got what ye plan to offer 'em. - Leeching: Dependin' on their insight, ye can occassionally bribe yer way out of trouble by offerin' to leech 'em a few insights for their trouble. This tends to work better when they're under their fiftieth insight, since beyond there, a lot of Aislin's hunt in the Cthonics and don't need leechin' as badly. Peek 'em or check the scroll o' presence and take note of where the Filth names are on the listin' to get some idea o' what their insight is. - Guildmate: Some groups around hold loyalty to their guildies as more important than laws. If yer in a guild, ye could get off scot-free if one of yer guildmates happens to be in office as well. Ask 'em about it, but make sure they ain't got any scruples first. - Hubae: If yer nicked by a monk, offerin' 'em a hubae shell or two to teach ain't a bad way to dodge yer punishment. A few rare monks won't be interested but chances are good that they're the type who can't be bothered doin' it by tradition and are lookin' for the easy way through. Offer them that, and ye do both of yerselves a favour. - Political Enemies: Dependin' on yer abilities and resourcefulness, ye can cut a deal with a bent official to cause trouble for one of their political enemies. This can be in any way from widdlin' their clout to spreadin' rumors about them 'round the town, to targetin' their spouses and usin' 'em as blackmail leverage. Pays to be discreet though, as it's easy to just end up nicked again if ye aren't careful on this option. CONCLUSION While some of this lore has been elaborated on for entertainment's sake, there are many parallels between this fictional criminal's perspective and the reality of Aisling politics and law enforcement today. Hopefully, observing these from a different viewpoint than usual has given some useful insight into not only certain criminal behaviour patterns, but into current politics and law enforcement in Temuair as well.